Well, I've gone through this blog and deleted quite a bit of material which I've decided in retrospect that I'm unhappy with because it was either too personal or too wishy-washy or didn't reflect what has been on my mind more of late. I suppose I could have left more up for the sake of history, but that's better left on my hard drive, in my opinion.

But I did decide to leave the "rebel" post, as it is still relevant. Also, I quoted de Tocqueville and it makes me look all smart and stuff. ROTFL. I regret that I haven't been reading as much, lately. Or rather, I have, but more to entertain myself than to stimulate my mind.

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Life has taken a few twists as of late. I have a couple of new job options, some of which are better than others, and some of which are so tangled in paperwork I despair of ever getting them all filed out. I've been avoiding my resume, too--I think that's the worst part. I don't like talking about myself, and I always feel like I'm BSing when I list my strengths. I'm uncertain in new situations and with new people. I don't know why; I know full well I'm damned smart and capable of doing almost anything anyone asks of me. But convincing others of that seems like an overwhelming, impossible task.

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Valentine's Day is coming up in just a few weeks, and merchandise is everywhere. I've never enjoyed this holiday, but it's different this year. In the past, I was always annoyed at the implication that I must be unhappy because I am single which is just silly. I *liked* having all that freedom; I could flirt with anyone and never be serious about it, I didn't feel the need to answer to anyone. This time it's different--I went and got my heart broken and now I don't feel single, I feel alone.

It sucks. I miss him. Stupid poopyhead man.